The parts I left out...

​How many of us can tell a ripe and juicy story about our lives? You know, make it sound really good - intriguing, exciting, triumphant... We wipe tears through a few sad moments and defeats, and then let our smiles beam as we tap into our accomplishments, our blessings, our miracles...all the things that have brought us joy, gladness, love, peace, and hope...

But what about the parts we leave out? Those deep dark places we don't even like to revisit in our minds...those things we did that we pray no one ever knows...those things that happened to us that we try with every fiber in our being to forget... Oh, and God forbid, the mistakes! Things that follow and haunt us from childhood into adulthood...truths in adulthood that bring us to the questions of "how did I let this happen?" "What was I thinking?" "Why me?" We hide things, pretend them away, remain under a shadow of fear hoping that we'll never be exposed...

Do you believe that there is a blessing in the parts we leave out?

First, to ourselves - the strength it took to endure certain situations and scenarios... Our increased faith from having our backs pushed up against the wall, and having no where to turn or look but up... The mental capacity we've used to talk to ourselves, minister to ourselves, encourage ourselves... The wisdom and patience we exercised in figuring our way out... The belief in God that change would come... Often times we carry these secrets as invisible veils of shame... We think to ourselves, if people really knew us to our core, they wouldn't respect us in the same manner, or think as highly of us... they wouldn't love us the same way, they wouldn't believe in us as strongly...

But what if we turned the tables and looked at those same incomprehensible moments, and instead of shame, we saw them as a badge of honor... Things we've survived! Our silent wins! Our secret victories! The power it took to correct our own wrongdoings! The courage it took to demand respect from others! The superhero strength inside of us that carried us through each and everyday! And while we may not walk around with the Superhuman 'S' on our chest literally, to know that you wear that 'S' on your soul, spirit, heart and mind...change the way you look at the "stuff" in your life no one knows about... Instead of worrying about how others might look down on you, say to yourself, as if to them, "If you only knew the caliber of the individual you were sitting next too...if you only knew how strong I really am...if you only knew the parts that I've left out when sharing my story with you...you'd be in awe... I amaze myself daily...quietly..."

Now let's take that thought a step further, and think about how the blessing in the parts we leave out translates to others...

I remember watching a reality show... A woman on the show confessed to doing something that most would deem horrible... something that most would never admit to... something that you hear of but never really know a person that's done it... As I watched, I gulped into my chest... I had attempted to do the same thing many years ago...and I didn't end up doing what she had done, but I remember the mindset that I was in when I thought to and had even made generous attempts at doing it... just unsuccessfully... I remember thinking, "Wow, I can't believe she just said that! And put herself out there like that!" Those that she confessed to were very warm about it...nothing like the thoughts of judgment that ran through my head when I wondered what would happen if people ever knew... By her sharing that, I felt that I wasn't alone... Something that I had buried in my chest, locked in the vault of unbelievable, and vowed to never share...was sitting right there, on TV...through her tears and accountability, I was helped...

I say all of that to say, there is a blessing in your story...in the testimonies that go unspoken... in the skeletons in our closets... there's a blessing in the storm... Now, I am not saying that everyone needs to come clean about everything, and lay all of their most vulnerable moments on the line, and we all have a mass confession day, followed by a worldwide group hug... But I just want us all to be encouraged that the testimony unspoken in us,

is the spirit of another person un-edified... there is something to be said for finding ways and platforms to connect with others... to let others know that they aren't alone... to put it on record that despite how good I make it look, or how easy I make it seem, or how perfect I pretend to be, I've gone through some things too...I'm going through some things too...

And I know the level of transparency I'm speaking of is soooo hard. As I sit here, I am staring at a list of 10 things that I would deem as the "parts I left out"...things I've only shared with a select few, and I can't fathom in this moment sharing any of them with you...

They sound like:

"Did I tell you the choice I made before going away to college? A choice no one knew about?"

"Did I tell you the things I did before getting married and having children?"

"Did I tell you about when I had thoughts of suicide?"

"Did I tell you about the abuse I survived?"

"Did I tell you about the time I was physically violated?"

"Did I tell you about the "epic fail" moment of my career?"

"Did I tell you about the lie I've told for years?"

"Did I tell you about my current shame?"

Lord have mercy...

And the list could go on...with more details..more transparency... a separate blog/chapter for each "Did I tell you", and more where those came from... Yes, in between the times that I've been striving to make things look perfect... from childhood until now, I've gone through some things too...

Only with the help of the Lord have I made it this far... only His keeping power... only His guidance... only His forgiveness... only His cleansing... only His peace...

Keep me in your prayers... I hope that this helps somebody... none of us are alone... there is a blessing in the parts we leave out...

~ Resse

#ThePartsILeftOut #ConnectingTheDots


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I must admit, I was hesitant to create a blog site, for fear that it would lessen my creditibility as a writer...  Let's be honest, there are blogs everywhere, written by any and everyone...  While I myself enjoy reading and following a number of bloggists across all genres of content... 

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