What is my testimony NOW?...
As a believer, I am very familiar with sharing my testimony of everything God has done for me, how He's provided for me, kept me, carried me through, brought me out... The opportunity to share with others how God has blessed me and those I love and cherish is a priceless one. To be able to openly express thanksgiving and gratitude to my Heavenly Father, assisting others in believing that with God, nothing is impossible, is a special part of my journey that I count all joy...
But there are those times, where I search for a testimony to share... I acknowledge God for what He's done for me, but my right now is so uncertain...everything is going wrong... I plug one leak just to have another bust somewhere else...I can't trust and rely on others the way I used to...I make mistakes...I try and try, only to realize that my trying isn't enough in some instances...I've run out of options...can't even remember what it feels like to pray, no heart or energy to even just say a small prayer over my circumstances...what is my testimony in those moments?
What is my testimony now? What is my testimony when I feel alone? What is my testimony when I feel like giving up? What is my testimony when I feel like my only options are bad and worse? And I don't say this to be a downer or negative, I say this because I know it to be real... I know what it feels to be so high you feel like you're soaring at the tip of a kite...and I also know what it feels like to feel so low, you have no choice to believe that the only direction you can go from here is up... but what is my testimony until my movement manifests in that upward direction? Until I am up, and I don't have the energy to even look up, what is my testimony?
My testimony is my HOPE IN HIM..
Psalms 33:22 --- "Let Thy mercy, O Lord, be upon us, according as we hope in Thee."
Psalms 39:7 --- "And now, Lord, what I wait for? My hope is in Thee."
Psalms 71:5 --- "For thou art my hope, O Lord God: Thou art my trust from my youth."
Psalms 71:15 --- "But I will hope continually, and yet praise Thee more and more."
Lamentations 3:21 --- "This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope."
Romans 5: 4-7 --- "4) And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5) And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. 6) For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 7) For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die."
Romans 8:24 --"For we are saved by hope..."
My testimony NOW is my HOPE IN HIM...my unwavering belief, that what He's done before, He'll do again...my trust that He can't fail, and that the work He has placed in me will manifest..that the visions I see, will be the visions other see when they see me living my reality...my security in knowing that before He formed me, He knew me...peace in knowing that no matter how much I mess up my plans, there is no way I can mess up His plan for me...that I'm never too low to be lifted up...and that I'll never be so lost that He can't find me...CONFIDENCE THAT NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION IS AND WHAT THE OUTCOME LOOKS LIKE, HE HAS, HE CAN & HE WILL!!!
Faith that He even hears a silent prayer...
That is my testimony...