Self-doubt...

I've always been a person that is full of self-doubt; pretty much my own worst critic. I don't mind taking a backseat to others' greatness, and I've learned to accept when I'm simply not the best at something. I haven't taken the time to fully recognize my own worth, and the older I get, the more I desire to love myself more --- I've had a hard time allowing myself to believe that the seeds God has planted in me are actually meant to be watered for growth. It's been easy for me to point out my shortcomings, but not as easy to take ownership of those things I'm actually good at. When I thought of the words 'Purpose' & 'Passion', I could see how they applied to others, but not at all how they applied to me. I fell into a cycle of accepting a role that lived up to others thoughts of me, but I am finding more and more that what others think of me does not necessarily align with what has been gifted to me in my spirit & mind. I've dwelled a lot on the past, things that likely 10 out of 10 people aren't even thinking about or don't remember, frankly, probably don't even care about if they do remember. And I've found time to believe in others, sometimes even more than they believe in themselves, but haven't taken the time to give myself that same attention. There are things I want to do, things I believe I'm meant to do. Places I want to go, places I believe I belong. Things I want to say, things I believe need to be said. I have a purpose. I have passion. When I look at my children, I've already begun to envision living vicariously through their futures, enjoying where life will take them, and prayerfully, being satisfied with their greatness. But I now realize, that when they look at me, I want them to see MORE! I want to finish things I start, start things I haven't taken the time to, take advantage of opportunities before me, and live a life that's full, and a purpose that's fulfilled. I will believe in myself more, and when I begin to have doubts, I will continue on with the strength of the One that created me, knows every strand of hair on my head, the One that I live and move through, and have my being, the One who has set a vision in front of me, that is just for me. Thanking Him for my journey thus for, and believing Him for the favor over my future!!! #PrayWithME

PS - It was not easy for me to share this, as one of my biggest fears is failure --- the feeling that if I say I am going to do something, and then I am unable to do it, or just don't do it, people will think, or even say "she failed", BUT I'm learning speak things into existence, that said, it is so...


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I must admit, I was hesitant to create a blog site, for fear that it would lessen my creditibility as a writer...  Let's be honest, there are blogs everywhere, written by any and everyone...  While I myself enjoy reading and following a number of bloggists across all genres of content... 

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